I can hear it echoing in my brain:
Tick, tick, tick, tick…
Incessantly screaming, constantly reminding
Me of what I haven’t done,
What I can’t have.
The word still rings in my ears:
No, no, no, no…
Impossible, improbable, not likely
To happen any time soon,
Just give up.
I can see it rolling down my cheeks:
Drip, drip, drip, drip…
Tears keep on falling, pain growing
Like a stab to the gut,
Worse than any labor.
The thought keeps creeping in my mind:
When, when, when, when…
I want to hold you, to scold you
For all the bad,
And praise the good.
I can feel it ripping in my gut:
Badum, badum, badum, badum…
A phantom heartbeat, a mocking sound
Filling me equally with hope,
And with despair.
The prayer whispers past my lips:
Soon, soon, soon, soon…
Beg and plead, on my knees
Asking God to grant me,
This one wish.